In defense of Jenna

It feels more than a little weird setting out to defend Jenna Bush. Just seeing her creeps me out a bit: she looks far too much like her father, although younger, and in drag. Quite like the weird little pop! of the senses you get when you see Lisa Marie Presley.

She's him - I mean, she's her own dad... but yet... she's her?

You know.

Plus, Jenna seems to carry the analogy with her father right into the frat house. She strikes one (okay, me) as a bratty, gum-snapping entitle-ee, chafing at the bit - now that she's earned that B.A. - to go pull down some mid-six-figures for doing little or nothing at a consulting firm; but feeling obliged first to build up some public image by helping a handful of disadvantaged third-world youths and pulling down a six-figure royalty advance for writing having a book ghost-written about it. A rather shoddily ghost-written book at that, by most accounts. But an easy read for the pre-teen set.

I know I said I've come here to defend her. Just not about any of that.

No, I want to defend Ms. Bush against this foolish notion that she's required to go fight in Iraq. And sure, there's one obvious reason she shouldn't: she'd be a target, a danger to her fellow soldiers, etc. The Prince-William thing. But I don't care about that. What I care about is the more basic implication that parents' children should be held to account for their sins. It's such a patently ridiculous idea that you can actually find it espoused in the Old Testament.

Michael Moore loves this line of attack. I always thought it was one of the dumbest bits of Fahrenheit 9-11, him running around Washgington, DC asking Congresspeople if they'd send their children to hunt down those Mesopotamian WMDs. To me that's a softball; you answer, "I am terrifically proud of my wonderful son [daughter] and would support wholly his [her] decision to wear the uniform of his [her] country if he [she] so chose. But his [her] life is his [her] own, and I respect his [her] decision."

Oddly, none of the Congresspeople did that. They just got nervous and squirmed away. The line worked so well for Moore that he took it to the 2004 RNC and pounded Bill O'Reilly with it (~ minute 6:00). "Would you sacrifice your child to eliminate a brutal dictator?" "Er - I'd send myself, but I'm not talking about any children here!"

Anyway. The poor girl (Jenna) doesn't know about this whole complicated thing (Iraq) one way or another. She no doubt believes in the war because to do otherwise would be the beginning of the admission that her father is a moron of world-historical proportions. Further than that, I do not believe she's much thought about the matter. You know - just like 90% of the American public didn't much think about it in the buildup to this Vast Miscarriage in the first place.

("Vast Miscarriage": I like that. I think I'll actually start using it to refer to the Iraq war all the time.)

But none of that's particularly Jenna's fault, and it's not logical to somehow punish George by attempting to send his daughter into the conflagration he's uncorked. Even rhetorically.

As for George himself? He should be turned out for lifetime infantry duty on January 21, 2009. We can give him the rank of Sergeant so that Cheney can serve as Private right beneath him.