Harken, world

We are now officially not necessarily a nation of 100% fucktards.

Scream it from the rooftops.

This campiagn has gone on too long

...Or maybe not. The thing's been on for two years now, or so they keep telling me, and thank god today it finally wraps up for good. And here I am, awake for no reason whatsoever at 2:30 in the morning with the ABC News overnight broadcast playing on the TV beside me (praise be that I don't have cable; I'd sleep every night to MSNBC if I did, and all my dreams would star Chris Matthews).

Anyway. ABC ran an interesting spot just now, taped partly in March and partly last Thursday, at the bowling alley in Allentown PA where Obama notoriously did a bad job knocking over some oblong sticks with a rolled ball. In March, they had no problem finding a gaggle of disturbing white men to admit that, "Yes, race is a factor" in their opposition to the Obama candidacy. One of them spouted out something about Jeremiah Wright as if he'd stayed up late the previous night memorizing Hannity & Colmes transcripts.

But a funny thing happened in this way-way-too-long campaign. ABC found many of the same guys in the same bowling alley last week, and more than one of them was fumbling to explain why he now has Obama yard signs up in front of his house. "It's the economy." "McCain seems too old." "I'm just not uncomfortable with Obama anymore."

So sure, this campaign has gone on well past the point of human tolerability - but, possibly, just barely long enough to convince America that some black guy named Barack Hussein Obama is probably not the antichrist.

I have a cynical streak, so that's as close to "hopeful" as I can do.

***

Not that my dad doesn't still have his doubts. In talking with him Sunday night he kind of verbally threw up his hands and said, "Well, I guess your guy is going to win." Not that he likes McCain. In fact he doesn't seem to like much of anybody, at least not in the world of politics. "You'd better enjoy this now, because god knows what we're going to get after four years of this guy in the White House."

I suggested that however disappointing an Obama presidency may turn out to be - and with the financial crisis and the cost of the bailout, there's plenty of opportunity for it to be disappointing indeed - it will still probably not involve new unjustified wars, flagrant violation of our treaty obligations in the form of semisecret torture programs, or the ongoing and systematic violation of millions of Americans' fourth-amendment rights by warrantless wiretapping. I think I added something to the effect that these violations meet the definition of treason as far as I'm concerned, and that the upper management of the present administration should by all rights be spending the rest of their lives in prison.

I was on a roll. But my dad threw me for a loop. He said that all may be so, but that when it comes to malfeasance Bush doesn't hold a candle next to Bill Clinton. Whuh-whuh? And so I asked what Clinton did that was so bad, since I assume my dad's sense of this is going to differ from my own (ie, that Clinton's presidency was nothing more than a long rearguard defense spent appeasing Newt Gingrich).

My dad's answer was fascinating. "I don't know what all Clinton did, but that man is one of the the slimiest S.O.B. s I have ever seen." Apparently, Clinton has done many terrible things and has even more terribly managed to keep them all secret.

Hey, who needs facts when you have a theory?

(Too bad Clinton didn't exercise these powers of concealment of his a little better vis a vis that whole Lewinsky thing....)

So what does this have to do with Obama trouncing McCain later on today? Maybe not much. I might have wandered a little. But suffice it to say that in January Obama's going to be taking on the mantle not just of the Presidency, but also of a great deal of random ill will. Gentlemen, start your shout shows.

So good luck, Mr. Obama. And my condolences about your grandmother.

So this woman...

... carved a "B" on her face backward? Exactly how dumb do you have to freaking be to support McCain?

How about just doing an "O", lady?

Critical breaking news

Fourteen years in, Axl Rose is finally releasing his goddamned album.

And you know, the leaked tracks are actually very strong, particularly "Better".

But hey, if this world's worth anything at all then one should at least be able to expect that an album whose production required, at one point, the construction of an in-studio chicken coop for the containment of its lead guitarist - I mean, one's gotta be able to assume that album can't be bad, right? People who know me know I'm not known for believing in things: but I believe in that.

November 23.

Socialism

Which would you consider socialism?

(a) Allowing the expiration of the parts of the Bush tax cuts most dramatically geared toward the richest people in America.

or

(b) Raising taxes on private oil companies for the express purpose of redistributing the money to the citizens of your state. (Alaska, that is.)

If McCain weren't going to lose, this kind of crap would actually be making me angry.

John Cleese

I've been a hapless Monty Python nerd since age 10. But my appreciation has just doubled:

John Cleese (part 2): Obama, Biden & Fox News

Third Debate

We're just past the halfway mark now. My impression is:

On the one hand, McCain appears persistently mendacious. On the other hand, he does come off as quite bitter.

Obama? Stumbling now and then as he tries to shore up his position, but not enough to hurt him in any way.

***

What the hell is with the facial expressions?

Well, they're certainly something Saturday Night Live can work with tomorrow night.

***

What strikes me most is the change in McCain since debate #1. The first time it was all, "This mental weakling over here is utterly wet behind the ears and has no idea what he's doing." Tonight it was far more fear-and-loathing, far more, "This bad man is going to ruin the life of Joe the Plumber."

Grit teeth and flop sweat and weird facial expressions.

***

Early in the debate, McCain said, "I'm not George Bush. If you wanted to run against Bush, you should have run four years ago."

An hour later, he said the last president who tried to bar trade and raise taxes at the same time was Herbert Hoover. And so Obama should have said, "If you wanted to run against Hoover, you should have run in 1932. I assume you met the age requirement at the time."

Such a zinger. Really very funny, isn't that? Ha ha. Ha. Ha.

Yeah, I'm going to go work on something else now.